Tuesday, June 22, 2010

6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the



words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?



Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....



FIRST TESTIMONY:



I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow



and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a b*** job?"



I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband



didn't say a word... he knew better.



SECOND TESTIMONY:



I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.



I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing



for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen



who works at the store. He asked if h e could help me. Without thinking,



I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."



THIRD TESTIMONY:



My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a



variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.



I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to



laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked



away.



To this day, my sister has never let me forget.



FOURTH TESTIMONY:



While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release



some pent-up energy and ran amok.



I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust



and annoyance from other patrons.



I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be



punished.



To my horror, she looked me in the eye



and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right



now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last



night!"



The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers



stopped what they were doing.



I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my



daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,



were screams of laughter.



FIFTH TESTIMONY:



Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?



My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I



was on him constantly.



One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands.



It was very busy, with a full dining room.



While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,



so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.



The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked



him if he needed to go, and he said "No".



I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't



have any clothes with me."



Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"



"No," he replied.



I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was



getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an



accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over,



spread his cheeks and yelled



"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"



While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he



calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An older couple made me feel



better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!



LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:



This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for



2 days a nd a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the



future, most likely think before she speaks. What happens when you



predict snow but don't get any!



We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have



snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:



"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"



Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they



were laughing so hard!



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

Well the for me the fourth one and the last one were the funniest



One day i was cleaning out the closet when my fiance came in and asked me where i was at so i just blurted out "Im coming out the closet" she has never left me alone because of that.



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

that is hilarious i cant believe all that stuff actually happened........its funny how this can be interpreted differently between people



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

LOL,you had me cracking up-I'm at work and people were looking at me crazy. You foot in the mouths is worse than anything that has happened to me. Thank you for that laugh



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

Were these real? They're hilarious!!!



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

yeah... yep that last one got me!! lol. always save the best for last!!! lol



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

hahahahahahahaahaahaha



thats sooo sooo funny, thanks for that big laugh..



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

This was worth the reading. U made me laugh each time keep more coming.



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

very funny its a genuine knee slapper! all of those jokes were hysterical! I lol lmao +roflmao. a 10 for you and a star as well.



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

Good to go!



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

Wow, that was really funny, thanks for the good laughs, i really liked the third testimony the best, that was really funny, the last one was really great too? Did all these things really happen?



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

You should have more stars...that was funny...where can I tip the waitress...Are you here all week?...LOL



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

That is HILARIOUS!



one of the funniest thing I've ever heard! =)



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

Wow the best one I heard all day (or read).



That was soooo funny.



I love "I will tell grandma" I actually laughed out loud at that one.



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

they were all funny but i loved the 1st and 5th the most... hahaha



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

JAJAJA...THA SECOND...N THA THIRD ONE WERE THA FUNNYEST...4 REALZ...



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

VERY NICE!!!!



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

Is it true that these are that 6



6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

my goodness

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