kids hair: 6 reasons to think b4 u speak?

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the

words back...or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow

and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a b*** job?"

I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband

didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing

for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen

who works at the store. He asked if h e could help me. Without thinking,

I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a

variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to

laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked

away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release

some pent-up energy and ran amok.

I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust

and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be

punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye

and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right

now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last

night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers

stopped what they were doing.

I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my

daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,

were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I

was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands.

It was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,

so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.

The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked

him if he needed to go, and he said "No".

I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't

have any clothes with me."

Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"

"No," he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was

getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an

accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over,

spread his cheeks and yelled

"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he

calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An older couple made me feel

better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for

2 days a nd a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the

future, most likely think before she speaks. What happens when you

predict snow but don't get any!

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have

snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:

"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they

were laughing so hard!