Is my mean and bossy 2 year old normal?

My son is 2 years 10 months. He is super smart for his age (talks like a 6 year old and already reading/spelling words), but he has an independent streak that is just plain frustrating. In playgroups, he is very bossy and mean with the other kids. He's always trying to direct the other kids. He occassionally bites and pulls hair if he doesn't get his way. Moms have even called to uninvite him to playgroup.

He's also super willful and will contradict everything I say. Ex: (It's hot outside) He'll scream (No, it's very, very cold!). He's not hyper or ADD and is quite healthy.

We've tried disciplining him in various ways, but they don't work. Time out is a joke to him. We've taken toys away, but he doesn't seem to care. If you spank him, he'll just put his hands on his hips and say "Don't spank me, I'm gonna spank you back!".

He stays home with me, and my husband and I are very calm folks (so it's not his home environment).

I'm so embarrassed, anyone else have a kid like this!!?

Is my mean and bossy 2 year old normal?

I was a kid like this.

You don't need him tested for 'ADD' or anything else ridiculous like that. That's a cop-out for parents who don't know how to deal with their own kids.

The bottom line is this kid is smart. Really smart. You said he reads speaks like a 6 year-old, that's only the beginning. He's going to get smarter, and if he's anything like me, more impatient, more arrogant, and more bitter. You need to talk to him. Obviously not 'like an adult,' but like an intelligent child. Do NOT listen to parents or others who will tell you to 'nip this in the bud' b/c that comment almost invariably means 'show him who's boss.' It doesn't matter that you're boss, that won't work with him. He already thinks he's too smart to listen to people. A lot of parents who over-discipline destroy the child in the process b/c they aren't smart enough themselves to cultivate the child's independence.

You simply need to talk to him, find out why he's being this way, what his problem is. If it's because he's never had discipline before, then yes, you need to start it. But spanking does NOT work on intelligent, independent kids. It will make him angrier and far more withdrawn, believe me (it appears you've already started to see this).

It may sound stupid, but trust me: appeal to his intelligence and arrogance. It sounds like he thinks he's better than other kids. Tell him biting is unacceptable behavior because it shows a lack of control and it's what someone does when they're not smart enough to deal with a problem another way (change the wording so he'll understand of course) . A child shouldn't be made to feel that he's better than others simply for being your child, but he should be made to appreciate his own ability if it supercedes that of other children. Tell him he needs to be patient with others who are not as advanced as he is.

If he doesn't know whe's he so mad and confrontational, then it's most likely psychological/emotional. Then yes, you can take him to a psychologist, but only if you think there is really something emotionally wrong with him.

Is my mean and bossy 2 year old normal?

Gotta tell ya that in my experience it is the smarter kids that end up being either very bossy and know it alls or extremly shy and overly reserved. Either they are too proud to be so smart or they fear looking like a freak because they are so smart. If you read the history of the smartest people in the world you will start seeing what i am talking about. If the other kids stop listening to him and you don't let him boss you around then he may start to see he isn't getting away with it and it may calm down (worked with my nephew). Some kids though just are naturally bossy, i went to school with a few of them.

Is my mean and bossy 2 year old normal?

you need to nip this in the bud...he will only get worse....if you can't place restrictions and consequenses on him, then i would take him to the peditrician to have him tested for ADD or something similar...this is just going to get worse.

good luck

:)

Is my mean and bossy 2 year old normal?

Sorry. Start actually disciplining this kid. Obviously he does care about some things. Start taking THOSE away. Stop making time out a JOKE. Make time out like 3 times as long or however long it takes for him to smarten up. He just sits in a corner, facing the wall, and does NOTHING or something that punishes him in some way:

OF course yout a TWO year old can read and write. He walked at 3 months right. Start making time outa time where you have him write, I WILL BE A GOOD BOY, like 100 times.

Ok try actually spanking your two year old. Not hard. Just a swift smack on the bum that tells him YOU are the BOSS! You let your kid tell you he is going to spank you back????!!!

Is my mean and bossy 2 year old normal?

No, mine's as good as gold

Is my mean and bossy 2 year old normal?

From what you say you have a nearly three year old child with the intellect of a much older child, but you are treating him like a two year old. If he is a bright as you say you need to up the expectation of his ability to behave and make decisions.

The example of No, Its very very cold. This statement would not be allowed in my home. I would respond with. Those words were ugly. Mom said it is too hot, and we are not going outside. Do not speak to mom in ugly word, and do not yell at Mom. Followed by a three minute time out.

The most difficult part of parenting is handling each child's discipline on an individual basis. This child needs for you to have higher expectations of his behavior and his ability to learn from the errors of his way.